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Getty Images<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\nFor years, local DJ Dave Gilmore soundtracked other people’s nights out in pubs and clubs.<\/b><\/p>\n But now he’s curating a uniquely personal playlist – the songs of his own life to carry him through terminal illness.<\/p>\n The list includes both November Rain and Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns and Roses, Apache by The Shadows – which inspired Dave to play guitar – and Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb.<\/p>\n Hazel O’Connor’s 1980 hit Will You? is dedicated to his wife and mother to their two children.<\/p>\n An ode to tentative yet powerful romantic tension, it is known for its saxophone solo – an instrument Dave also learned to play.<\/p>\n “It’s our tune from when we got together,” Dave tells BBC’s Morning Live, tapping his feet. <\/p>\n As the song evokes memories, his wife Kate quietly adds “the fight was worth it.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Moments like this emphasise the power of music to forge everlasting connection.<\/p>\n Its therapeutic benefits are increasingly recognised in palliative and end of life care. <\/p>\n The impact is neurological as well as emotional, explains Sarah Metcalfe, managing director of the Utley Foundation’s Music for Dementia campaign.<\/p>\n Brain activity scans show music “lights up” multiple parts of our brain, simultaneously touching physical and emotional sense centres.<\/p>\n “Even if one part of the brain is damaged, those other parts can still be accessed,” Sarah says.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n UK charity Marie Curie surveyed 1,000 adults whose loved ones had received care in the final stages of life. <\/p>\n It found listening to music together helped to create a shared experience that brought them closer, creating a sense of normality and helping them relax.<\/p>\n Kate experienced this first hand. When Dave once returned home after a lengthy hospital stay, he was twitchy and exhausted but unable to sleep.<\/p>\n Out of desperation she turned to Native American music, one of his favourite genres to relax to. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n “And then all of a sudden, this agitated, anxious man began to sleep,” she recalls.<\/p>\n Diana Schad, a staff nurse at the Marie Curie hospice in Glasgow with 19 years of experience as well as a musician herself, has installed a piano for patients and volunteers to use.<\/p>\n She says it is important to consider the feelings music evokes.<\/p>\n “You’ve always got to ask yourself, is this what they would like to be feeling at the moment?” says Diana. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n 1. Focus on music memories between ages 10-30, which is when the strongest associations are formed<\/p>\n 2. Include songs connected to special, significant places and important life events – youth, holidays, romance, first dances and wedding songs<\/p>\n 3. Consider feelings sparked by songs – these can be just as powerful as memory association<\/p>\n 4. Remember that music can trigger memories even for people with conditions like dementia by connecting multiple brain regions. Use resources like BBC Music Memories to spark memory recall<\/p>\n 5. Be open to unexpected musical connections, like TV show themes or commercial jingles that might hold special meaning<\/p>\n Source: Music for Dementia’s managing director, Sarah Metcalfe<\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n Experts agree that music can reduce anxiety and psychological pain, even when someone is unconscious.<\/p>\n Dr Sam Murphy, senior lecturer at the Open University, specialises in thanatology, the study of death and the practices associated with it.<\/p>\n “There’s certainly evidence to suggest that hearing is the last sense to go so even when someone is unconscious or unresponsive, music can still reach them,” she says. <\/p>\n “It keeps them connected to their surroundings, to the people they love, and to the sense of being alive and those memories that they’ve had.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Music can be equally helpful to loved ones after a person has passed away. <\/p>\n “I think it’s just another distraction for those people that are mourning a loved one,” Dr Murphy says. “But there’s that comfort in knowing that they’re listening to something that their loved one would have listened to over the years.”<\/p>\n This is true for Anna-Kay Brocklesby, whose husband Ian passed away from prostate cancer in 2023.<\/p>\n As Ian’s health deteriorated, sharing his favourite songs became a crucial part of their family’s coping mechanism. <\/p>\n It became a way to keep spirits up and stay positive, says his wife.<\/p>\n “Every morning he would go down and make the tea, he would play. Oh, What a Beautiful Morning from the musical Oklahoma,” she says.<\/p>\n “And he would belt it out. He used it as a sort of mindset of, this is how today’s going to be”.<\/p>\n They would play Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, and Elton John songs, which provided comfort and connection.<\/p>\n Two years after Ian died, Anna-Kay still finds comfort in the music they shared together.<\/p>\n “He lives on in us in many, many ways,” says Anna-Kay, “but music can take us to a place with Ian”.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n![](\"https:\/\/static.files.bbci.co.uk\/bbcdotcom\/web\/20250905-110137-f27f908f49-web-2.29.1-3\/grey-placeholder.png\")
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Kate Gilmore\/BBC Morning Live<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n![\"Kate](\"https:\/\/ichef.bbci.co.uk\/news\/480\/cpsprodpb\/a400\/live\/922a07d0-94a8-11f0-992c-b1d443c64e5a.jpg.webp\")
Kate Gilmore<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\nHow to make a good palliative playlist<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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Marie Curie<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\nAn everlasting comfort in death<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n